


A Pirate's Life for Me

by vesaldi



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, i fuckin love leofard myste, pirates being pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23692951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesaldi/pseuds/vesaldi
Summary: What happens when pirates of the sky meet pirates of the sea? Nothing good, to be sure. Although...
Relationships: Leofard Myste/Carvallain de Gorgagne
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	A Pirate's Life for Me

“Who in the bloody ‘ells are you?”

It was not nearly late enough in the day for Leofard Myste to be quite as drunk as he was. And yet there he was, drunk as a… well, pirate.

The elezen across from him simply raised an eyebrow. “And who are _you_ to be speaking to _me?_ ”

“That’s none of your godsdamned business,” the sky pirate returned, slamming his hand on the table for good measure. The effort nearly toppled his mug, but did little to impress his new companion.

“So a nobody, then,” the elezen responded with a wry grin. “Not surprise, though, by the look of you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Leofard asked – nay, snarled.

“You have the look of a boor about you,” the man returned, giving Leofard a quick once-over. “With nary a thought for style, at that.”

“Say that to my face, fiend,” Leofard snapped, nearly immediately regretting the words as the elezen laughed quite literally in his face.

“You hail from Ishgard, yes?” the man asked. “You have the smell of winter about you.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Leofard asked with a frown.

“Give me your name, fool.”

Leofard’s chest puffed up like a paissa. “Leofard Myste, _bitch_.”

The elezen laughed before extending a hand. “Carvallain de Gorgagne, at your service.”

Leofard frowned, glancing down at the extended palm and then back up at the elezen. What was the man up to, he wondered? Finally, he reached out to grasp Carvallain’s palm, shaking it in a haphazard greeting.

“Let me buy you another drink,” Carvallain offered, waving over the bar wench. “Not that you need it, but I’m up for a spot of fun.”

Leofard wanted to object, but a free drink was a free drink. Who was he to turn it down?

“So, Leofard Myste, tell me why a sky pirate of Ishgard finds himself in Limsa Lominsa.”

“None of your concern,” Leofard returned, gratefully accepting the full mug of free ale. “My business is my own.”

“Surely you must come for the remains of Nym,” Carvallain continued, accepting a drink of his own and handing the barmaid a fistful of coin. “Else I see little in the skies to make your trip worthwhile.”

“The remains of what now?” Leofard asked with a frown before taking such an aggressive swig from the mug that ale trickled down his chin.

“Nym,” Carvallain repeated, slower somehow.

“I heard what you said, prick,” Leofard snarled. “Not here to plunder some ancient… whatever.”

“Tis for the best,” Carvallain returned, pausing to take a sip from his glass, “considering you are… well. You are what you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Leofard snarled, standing up from his chair and rocking the table. Carvallain simply raised an eyebrow.

“Touched a nerve, have I?” the other pirate asked. “Without the sea at you back, can you truly call yourself a pirate?”

Leofard’s first reaction was to object. _Aggressively_. But his wits hadn’t _entirely_ left him. “You know who I am…?”

“ _Now_ you notice?” Carvallain laughed. “Just how many of those–” He pointed to the mug. “–have you had?”

“Answer the godsdamned question,” Leofard demanded.

“You leap in logic is impressive,” Carvallain finally said between sips. “I merely said that you smelled of Ishgard and looked a pirate. Connect the dots, and I would be well to assume you to be a sky pirate.”

Leofard crossed his arms. “But…”

A smile graced the other pirate’s face. “Indeed, but. I am aware of you, Leofard Myste of the Redbills.”

The smile on Leofard’s face was impossible to ignore. Were he sober, it might have been smaller, but his drunken pride had certainly gotten the best of him.

“Contain yourself, fool,” Carvallain returned with a laugh. “Gods, you must be eighty percent alcohol.”

“Eighty-five!” Leofard returned, realizing a bit too late that it was not a competition. Carvallain just laughed.

“How you call yourself a pirate without the wind and water at your back I shall never know,” Carvallain continued, a wry smile on his face.

“I don’t need no bloody sea to be a pirate,” Leofard spat back before taking another swig from his mug. “The sky serves me just as well, and’s less salty at that.”

“You seem plenty salty to me,” Carvallain returned with a smirk. “Tell you what. If you can outdrink me, I shall rescind my comments regarding your kind.”

Leofard looked near to burst. “ _My kind?_ ”

Carvallain looked confused. “Sky pirates, I mean.”

“…oh.”

The other pirate snapped his fingers. “Elsie, dear, over here!”

“What can I get you?” the barmaid asked as she approached.

“A full platter of shots,” Carvallain explained, smiling up at her. “The good stuff, if you would.”

“Found yourself a new plaything, have you?” the woman asked with a smile. “Coming right up, love.”

“Plaything?” Leofard asked with a scowl. “I ain’t nobody’s plaything.”

“Don’t mind her,” Carvallain replied with a wave of his hand. “I expect you’ll show me why sky pirates somehow still exist.”

“You, _ser_ , are looking to get beat,” Leofard snarled in response.

Carvallain simply laughed as the barmaid deposited their drinks. “You think you can out drink me, then?”

“Without breakin’ a sweat,” Leofard returned with a stony glare, reaching for one of the shot glasses. “Bottom’s up, ye scrawny shit.”

The two took their first shot, Leofard with a glare and Carvallain with a grin. Leofard’s eyes were already half glazed over, but the higher quality alcohol seemed to sharpen his attention.

“Bloody ‘ells, what kind of a pirate are you?” he asked, looking into the now empty shot glass.

“The successful kind,” Carvallain returned with a laugh. “I’m sure some day you’ll understand what it’s like.”

“You’re a bleedin’ prick, ye know that?” Leofard spat back with a glare, but not stopping to reach for his second round. “Go again, arsehole.”

“My sisters have said as much,” Carvallain returned with a grin, reaching for his drink. “Bottom’s up, dreamer.”

There was a loud hiccup after Leofard downed his shot. “Dreamer?”

“Got your head up in the clouds,” Carvallain explained, reaching for another glass. “Come on then, sky pirate. Show me how you do things in Ishgard.”

“You bet I’ll fuckin’ show you.” Leofard grabbed another shot, not waiting for the other before he poured it down his throat. It trailed down with a pleasant burn, unlike the swill he was used to from the Forgotten Knight.

The sniping back and forth between the two continued for much longer than it should have for either of them. Given that the sky pirate had quite a head start, Carvallain found himself utterly shocked when his fumbling fingers knocked over the remaining glasses. Leofard, on the other hand, was delighted.

“Admit defeat, eh?”

“Nev–” Carvallain was interrupted by an unexpectedly loud hiccup. “ _Never._ ”

“You… water pirates…” Leofard replied with a hiccup of his own. “All the same.”

“Water pirates?” Carvallain laughed. “I think you just mean _pirates._ ”

“Your ships float on water,” Leofard explained, demonstrating with his hands for good measure. “Water pirates.”

“You, ser,” Carvallain continued, hiccupping again, “are a fool and a clown.”

“Better a clown than a… a…” Leofard squinted briefly before his eyes lit up. “Than a water pirate!”

“You’re both fools.”

Both Leofard’s and Carvallain’s heads snapped up at the sound of a third voice.

“Stacia!” Leofard exclaimed, drawing out the last syllable far to long. “Where ya been, love?”

“Gods, Leofard, how drunk _are_ you?” she asked with a frown.

“Staysha…?” Carvallain repeated. “Lovely name, that.”

“Would be, if it _were_ my name,” Stacia replied with a smirk as she moved closer to the table. She turned to Leofard. “Come on, _your highness_ , it’s time to go.”

“Wait a second,” Leofard implored as Stacia reached down to pull him out of the chair. She sighed, but relented nonetheless.

Carvallain grinned. “Don’t wish to part quite yet?”

“You wish, ye waterlogged shit.” And with that, Leofard shoved his fellow pirate. Carvallain tipped over backwards in his chair, landing squarely on the ground with a thud and a grunt. Leofard smiled and turned back to Stacia. “’Kay, we can go now.”

“One of these days you’re going to get shanked,” Stacia told him with a sigh as Leofard wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

“It’ll be worth it,” he assured her with a smirk as they walked toward the exit. They couldn’t hear Carvallain’s pleased laugh as they disappeared from view.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a random suggestion, but I kinda ship it now.


End file.
